“I told them of the hand of my God that had been upon me for good…” —Nehemiah 2:18

Life Before Christ

I grew up learning that we’re all sinners and that Jesus died on a cross, was buried, and rose to life to save us. However, for almost two decades, I didn’t understand how that truth applied to my life. In my mind, church was a moral obligation, God was beyond reach, and salvation was achieved through a combination of beliefs and works.

Yet, the good hand of God was upon my life. In my late teens, I felt prompted to pray for closeness to Him, not knowing what that looked like. Despite these occasional prayers, I drifted far from God. My life revolved around obtaining the attention and approval of others. So when I experienced a break-up that rocked my world, I spiraled downward into a pit of bitterness and anger that continued well into my freshman year of college.

Receiving Christ

By that point, I seriously doubted God’s existence. I carried the weight of my mistakes and I feared the person I was becoming. But one evening, while home for spring break (in 2012), I shared these burdens with two old friends who—to my surprise—encouraged me to take it all to Jesus because He wanted a relationship with me. They told me if I confessed my sins and surrendered to Him in faith, He would forgive me in full and I could have a relationship with Him that would change my life. 

That evening, I understood that this was the purpose of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. By the power of His Spirit, my eyes were opened to His grace for the very first time. I suddenly realized that salvation could not be achieved, it could only be received through trusting in Jesus as my Lord and Savior—and this gift of grace set me free.

Life With Christ

I turned from my old life and began falling in love with God, listening to sermons, keeping a prayer journal, reading the Bible, and learning to actively live out my faith. Eventually, God showed me that I was born again and this new life in Christ was eternal. This was the closeness to Him I had prayed to experience.

As I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus over the years, I’ve learned that intimacy with Him often comes through trials. Most recently, I experienced His faithfulness as I walked through a year of deep grief and great joy as I mourned miscarrying two babies, joyfully anticipated the birth of our miracle baby, and said final goodbyes to my dad’s parents. Wrestling through that tension has taught me that Christ’s grace truly is sufficient in every moment and that the hand of my God has been—and always will be—upon me for good.