In case you haven’t heard, I am pregnant! My husband Luke and I are expecting our first child mid-August and we are so excited to meet her! Before she is born, I wanted to share a bit about my redemptive journey to motherhood, because God truly deserves all of the glory for the joy I have over this precious gift.
A Full Transformation
In my early 20’s, I really wasn’t sure how I felt about the possibility of one day becoming a mom. A lot of my friends got married and started having babies pretty quickly after. I saw this natural longing in their hearts to be moms, but I really struggled to relate to that. I think somewhere in the back of my head motherhood was for “someday.” But I wasn’t sure how I would ever change. I was never at peace with my lack of desire and wrestled internally for a long time. So my husband and I prayed that if it was God’s will for us to have children, that He would give us both the desires of His heart (Psalm 37:4). We ultimately knew God’s will was best.
Looking back, I can now see that my primary hangup was fear. We all go through trials in our lives that shape our worldview—for better or for worse. And God had to expose my fears and wrong thinking to bring about a heart change within me. If I had to point to one thing that had the most impact on my heart transformation around motherhood, it would have to be biblical counseling. Biblical counseling is centered on the sufficiency of God’s Word to counsel us in the various issues in life we are confronted with. (You can learn more about biblical counseling here.) Luke and I went through biblical counseling with our pastor for completely unrelated reasons to our worries around parenting. But as we grew in our trust in God and His Word, other areas of our lives began to change. That included fears around starting a family. (Click here if you’re interested in a great biblical counseling podcast.)
Choosing to Believe God’s Word
Psalm 127:3-5 says that children are a heritage and reward from the Lord. To put it more simply, the word heritage is also translated as gift. And the original Hebrew of the word reward speaks to the benefit of having children. A good friend pointed out this verse as she was wrestling with her own struggles as a young mom. Through this passage, God opened our eyes to the countercultural nature of the biblical view of children. For a long time, without realizing it, I had been so influenced by what the world preaches to us about children. The culture teaches that your life is basically over when you become a parent. You need to establish your life. You need to accomplish all your goals and travel before you have kids because they drain your time and finances… What a depressing view of children!
In contrast, God speaks highly of children in the Bible. As I mentioned above, He describes them as a gift, benefit, and blessing in Psalm 127:3-5. He speaks about the tender, loving care He has for every child even before they are fully formed in the womb in Psalm 139:13-16. Jesus spoke highly of children in Matthew 18:3 when He said we must become like children to receive eternal life. He welcomed them and was not too busy for them (Matthew 19:13-14). Those are just a small handful of biblical examples of how God views children. And yet, so many of the cultural lies are exposed through them. So as I chose to believe what God says about children and rejected what the world focuses on, God transformed my heart just as Luke and I had prayed. Our God is so faithful!
God’s greatest redemptive story is the gospel. Out of His great love for us, Jesus died on a cross and rose from the dead to save all who repent and believe in Him (John 3:16, Mark 1:15). By grace, through faith, we are given eternal life (Ephesians 2:8-9). God has given me the greatest gift, benefit, and blessing through Christ. Even still, He uses our unique circumstances to reveal the power of the gospel in our lives. I praise God for how He has orchestrated my redemptive journey to motherhood. He has shown me His abundant mercy and joy through this experience. And God continues to humble me by exposing my fears for what they are and lovingly drawing me back to Himself and the truth of His Word.
A Word of Encouragement to The Woman Wrestling With Becoming a Mom
I have learned throughout the years that every woman has her own fears, struggles, and feelings toward motherhood. I know it’s such a tender topic that can well up both joy and grief. My heart rejoices with moms raising children and it aches for the woman who longs to be a mom and is waiting. But given my story, I want to encourage the woman wrestling with becoming a mom. If you relate to my story at all, first I want to say, you’re not alone. I remember feeling so lonely and misunderstood in my early 20’s. And it wasn’t until my late 20’s that I met moms who had similar stories. My best advice is to get connected with women in your church. Serve, join a small group and Bible study, hear the stories and wisdom of others. If there is a pastor or leader at your church you trust, reach out to talk through your personal struggles. And most importantly, I encourage you to bring your concerns and fears to the Lord in His Word and prayer. Trust that He knows what’s best for you and surrender to His will. He loves you and cares for you.
If you are looking for a great resource to help you work through anxiety and fear, check out my Bible study Strength in the Struggle. Whether you’re struggling with fears around motherhood or something else, this grace-filled study will equip you to find freedom and overcome life’s ongoing battles with fear and anxiety.