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I put my faith in Christ back in 2012, but it wasn’t until the past few years that I really started understanding that the Gospel is not just for unbelievers. The truth is, we all need to know and be reminded that we are sinners in need of a Savior. Likewise, we must recognize that none of our works can make us right with God nor earn us entrance into heaven. We all need to hear and remember that the Bible says there is no forgiveness without the shedding of blood (Hebrews 9:22). So out of His great love for us, Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice to forgive and pay the wages of sin on our behalf so that all who put their faith in Christ as Lord and Savior will have eternal life (John 3:16)!
To put our faith in Jesus means we repent – confess our sins and turn from them (Mark 1:14-15). As a result, we are born again (John 3:3), new creations (Galatians 2:20), and have the Spirit of God dwelling in our hearts (Romans 8:9)!
If you are a believer…
Firstly, I want to ask you believers a few questions. When you hear the Gospel do you tend to zone out because you’ve heard it before? Does it lead you to spend time in God’s Word? When was the last time you praised God for His holiness, righteousness, and mercy? Are you in the habit of continually confessing your sins and turning from them to grow in spiritual maturity? How often do you thank God for forgiving your sins past, present, and future… for loving and saving you? Do you rest in the truth that Christ’s righteousness is counted to you as righteousness (James 2:23)? Does the Gospel message inspire you to be in a close relationship with Christ and live a life surrendered to His will?
If you are an unbeliever or unsure…
Secondly, I have some questions for those who are unbelievers or are simply unsure. What is keeping you from trusting that it’s by grace through faith alone you’re saved? (Ephesians 2:8-9) Do you crave freedom from the burden of trying to be enough? The bad news is, we can never measure up on our own. However, there is good news! The Bible says we can be counted righteous by God through repentant faith (Romans 4:5). The world and other religions say, “do,” the Gospel of Jesus Christ says, “done!” Will you surrender to Jesus and start seeking Him through His Word and prayer?
No matter what, the Gospel is for you.
Wherever you are in your life, the Gospel message is for you. The more we reflect on it, the better we understand who we are, who God is, and what He has done for us. As a result, we are led to praise, worship, confess, repent, read the Bible, and ultimately, fall deeper in love with the Savior. A deeper appreciation for the Gospel impacts our hearts and the way we interact with the world around us.
How will you reflect on the Gospel today? Has praise been lacking in your prayer life? Do you forget to thank Jesus for what He has done for you? Are there sins you need to confess and ask the Holy Spirit to help you overcome? Do you really trust you are forgiven by grace through faith alone ? Or instead, are you still attempting to get right with God by your own efforts?
I encourage you to get into the habit of remembering the Gospel as you pray. Watch how the Lord will work in your heart as you praise, express gratitude, confess your sins, and bring your requests to Him in light of the good news!
Before I put my faith in Christ, I was a church-goer. I prayed memorized prayers I learned at Sunday school, prayed over meals, prayed the Lord’s Prayer and for my family before bed occasionally, but that was about it. I treated prayer as recited words to send up to a distant God. They were very impersonal and had little heart in them.
In 2012, two friends encouraged me to pursue a relationship with Christ and start a prayer journal. They said if I told Him my regrets and mistakes, He would forgive me and if I sought a relationship with Him, He’d change my life.
I had grown up learning that Jesus died and rose from the dead to save sinners, but I never understood what this meant for me personally. So when I found out He wanted a relationship with me, that He would forgive and change me, it all clicked. By God’s grace, I repented, believed, and began seeking Jesus. I was saved! And just like the Bible and my friends promised, He changed everything.
Growing continually
I vividly remember sitting down to write in my prayer journal for the very first time and feeling super awkward. I wondered: How do I just talk to God? Could God really hear my prayers if I wrote them? If I didn’t fold my hands and cross myself? I still look back on my old journals occasionally and it’s sweet to put myself back into those old shoes and remember what it was like to start cultivating a relationship with Jesus through prayer. It was awkward, clumsy, and even cringey at times, but God saw my heart. He loves when we come to Him with a desire to love and know Him better, a desire to repent, grow, and be changed.
About a decade later, and I am still growing in my prayer life. It may not feel as drastic as the beginning, but I definitely go through seasons of feeling the growing pains. God continues to reveal where I still have a legalistic, religious, or ritualistic mindset around prayer and He is slowly, but constantly deepening a desire within me to simply meet and grow in intimacy with Him. Sometimes this means sitting down and journaling to Him, other times it means going on a walk and talking with Him out loud, praying through a list or simply as I think of someone during the day. I’m also continuing to learn the value in praying Scripture and how that develops intimacy and centers our minds on God before we come to Him with our requests.
Evaluate your own prayer life
My prayer life probably looks a lot different than yours – no two relationships with God look exactly alike! We are all at different places in our prayer lives, but what God wants with all of us is an intimate relationship, not a ritual.
Does your prayer life feel stale? Recited, robotic, or ritualistic? Maybe it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and start a prayer journal or praying out loud. Maybe now the Holy Spirit is prompting you to start exploring what praying the Bible looks like. Or perhaps, He’s simply calling you to deeper intimacy with Him, but you don’t know what that looks like yet.
Wherever you are at this point in your own prayer journey, start by praying. Don’t feel like praying? Start praying anyway. Ask God to give you a heart for prayer and if you genuinely desire this, He will absolutely bring about change. Just be patient, prayerful, and obedient. Sometimes it takes time for our feelings to catch up and that’s okay. God has lessons for us in the growing pains.
So, to close today’s post, I wanted you to ponder this question:
What is one thing I am going to start doing differently for the purpose of growing closer to God through prayer?
I encourage you to read Psalm 139 before reading this post.
I have always wanted to memorize an entire chapter of Scripture, but I have struggled to complete whatever I’m memorizing. When I was contacted by a friend through my church about a group of women who were gathering to memorize Psalm 139 together, I signed up because I knew I needed accountability in this area. I knew parts of this Psalm… even memorized a few verses in the past, so I admittedly wasn’t expecting to be so impacted by words I was already relatively familiar with. But, God’s Word is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) and He worked in incredible ways over the several weeks of memorizing, studying, and meditating. Today, I wanted to share just three takeaways.
1. God is omniscient – He knows everything about us.
God knows us intimately. He knows our every thought, every word before we speak them, and every action before we do them. Nothing is hidden from Him. My group wrestled with these truths, because while they gave us a lot of comfort, we also cringed at the reminder that God knows every sinful thought and action.
Reflecting on this reality made us even more grateful for the Gospel. Despite our ugly sin, God still loves us! By His grace, the Father sent His Son to die the death we deserved for our sins so that all who repent and believe in Him will be forgiven and have eternal life. Born again believers can rest in knowing that though God is well aware of our sin, Christ’s righteousness has been credited to us (Romans 4:5).
I especially found peace in reflecting on how our Father in Heaven understands us completely. One of the things I struggle with most is wanting to be understood by others. Since I was a little girl, I have had a deep longing to be known and understood by others. If I had to choose a quote representative of my childhood and adolescence, “Nobody understands me!” would be in the running.
My husband knows me better than anyone and I have friends and family who love and affirm me as well. But, this insecurity still runs deep within me and Psalm 139 caused me to confront it head-on. By the Holy Spirit’s prompting, I was forced to ask myself, “Do you really believe that God fully understands and loves you?” and, “Is that enough for you?” The answer was yes, so I’m asking the Spirit to help me live in light of this truth.
2. God is omnipresent – He is always present with us.
Before we were even created, wherever we go, whether we acknowledge Him or not, He is with us. We cannot escape the presence of God and when we are in right relationship with Him, we don’t want to. He leads us, holds us, and hems us in – His presence surrounds us and protects us. This is true in every sense. He is present with us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Verse 12 says, “even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”
This truth brings comfort and gives me new strength, especially on the days my heart is heavy about personal struggles and evil in the world. Whether I am in a physical or mental place of darkness, He is there. He is my sure hope – my confident assurance that in His presence all evil is exposed, sin is conquered, and I am not alone.
3. God is omnipotent – His power is limitless.
God is the Creator of all things, seen and unseen by the human eye. By His infinite power, we were created in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:26-27). He carefully knitted each one of us together in our mother’s womb, but even before that, He saw us. Verse 16 says, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
I was profoundly impacted by the truth that even before I was conceived, God had the number of my days written down. My life was carefully planned, no mistakes were made. In fact, He delighted in making me. Verse 18 says His thoughts about me are more than the sand. He thinks about every human being – born and unborn – in this deep, personal way. All are equally valuable in His eyes. Only the all-powerful God of the universe has the capacity to create unique individuals and think of each one of us in such an intimate way.
I could go on and on about the many ways memorizing Psalm 139 has impacted me. I am continually amazed by how God speaks to us through His Word as we memorize it and how He uses it for our benefit and to bless others. There have already been specific moments where He has brought the words of this Psalm to my mind to speak truth into my circumstances and cause me to think and act differently. He has also brought these words to mind to encourage friends in their struggles and it was a privilege to be used by God in that way. This is why we memorize Scripture!
Scripture memory glorifies God – He speaks to us personally as we write His Word on our hearts, causes us to live in light of what’s true, and uses it to bless others in profound ways.
I invite you to text a friend, or get a group of friends together, to memorize a passage in the Bible. Plan out how much time you will spend memorizing and hold each other accountable. Study and journal about the passage you choose and watch how God will use His Word and fellowship to bless you in profound ways!
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Hello, everyone! It has been a minute since I last posted here on the blog! I’ve been keeping in touch weekly with my community over email. But, those of you who are not on my list haven’t heard from me in quite some time! Sorry about that, but I promise it has been for good reasons! I’m back today with an update on my book and an update on what God’s teaching me right now.
Book Update
I mentioned a few months ago that I was writing a book… I’m happy to announce it is fully written and edited and my publisher is getting the design and layout finalized! We are hoping to have it completed in the next couple weeks, so it will be ready for release in the fall.
I’m keeping the specifics to myself until everything is sent to print. (Just in case something changes at the last minute!) But, I’m really looking forward to sharing what this book is all about. I have never written anything so heavily inspired by God’s Word. The Lord really used the whole experience to grow me in dependence on Him and love for Him. I’m so grateful for the ways He taught me to articulate who He is to others and how knowing Him more deeply impacts our trust in Him in mighty ways.
Personal Update & Reflections
Over the past few months, God has been teaching me about surrender. He’s been teaching me to surrender my time to Him, what I listen to, my work to Him… He’s revealing where I’m still holding onto my will and not surrendering to His will. And, He’s teaching me how to more boldly and intentionally live in light of the Gospel.
When we grow in our understanding of Christ’s loving sacrifice for unworthy sinners, we are led to live differently. We are led to offer our lives as a living sacrifice to God when we recognize what Jesus has done for us. The Son of God left heaven, came into the world as an infant and experienced life as we do. He came to walk with us, teach us, and ultimately, save us by sacrificially dying on a cross. Christ endured the wrath of God we deserved and triumphantly rose from the dead to forgive all who believe. He is oh so worthy of our complete surrender!
Encouragements
I encourage you to ask God how He is calling you to deeper surrender. Maybe you’re like me and you have some fears about that. I’ve realized my main fear is around rest. I worry that if I surrender everything to Him, specifically my free time, I’ll be tired all the time. I fear He’ll call me to more than I can handle and I won’t rest. But, when I focus on what’s true, I know that He promises to equip us for all He calls us to. He also promises to provide for our needs – even rest! What are your fears in surrendering everything to God? What does He say in His Word about those fears? Trust in His promises, surrender in faith, and watch as He works in mighty ways!
Anyway, that’s my update! If you’re in need of more encouragement, subscribe to my mailing list if you haven’t already! I send out weekly emails talking about practical steps to grow in your faith and love for Christ. I send out free resources and all sorts of content exclusive to members of my community who are ready to grow deeper in their relationship with God. I’d love to see you there!
If you’re a part of my community or have been following me for awhile, you know that I love God’s Word. Studying the Bible excites me. I talk a lot about the Bible and what God is teaching me, but I wanted to share with you why it’s important that we all study the Bible on our own and why we should get excited about it.
It’s important that we study the Bible because it’s God’s written Word to us and the primary way He speaks to us.
If we want to grow in our faith, studying the Bible is foundational. Many people around the world do not have access to the Bible, but if you are reading this post, I’m gonna assume you do! So, start reading and studying the Bible online through one of the apps or websites I recommend (visit the link below) and if you can afford it, invest in a study Bible. All scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16), living and active (Hebrews 4:12). Learning what messages God has spoken through Scripture for all people, for all time is exciting and it has eternal impact on our lives!
Side note: Do your research on translations. Some are more trusted than others and some are just paraphrases. Check out this post to learn more.
It’s important that we study the Bible to grow in wisdom and discernment.
The world is a confusing place… even the church can be! Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” In other words, as Christians, we are not meant to lean on and live by our own ideas and opinions, we are meant to trust in God’s way and that His way is the best way. We grow in our godly understanding (AKA wisdom and discernment) through studying the Bible. The more we study the Bible, the more we grow in true wisdom, and the better we can discern what’s right and wrong in a world where it’s not always clear.
It’s important that we study the Bible to grow in our love for God and our love for others.
God’s greatest commandment has remained true since the Old Testament, but Jesus reiterates it in Matthew 22:37-38 ESV, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” God’s #1 commandment, the most important, our starting point, is to love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. We grow in our love for God through prayer, worship, and studying the Bible. The second commandment flows from our love for God. The better we know His love, the better we can love others in the way Christ loves us.
I hope this post helped you understand better why we study the Bible. We don’t just study the Word of God to gain knowledge and go about our normal lives. It should change us. It should cause us to live and think differently.
The Creator of the universe wants to speak to you through His written Word—He wants to bless you with His love, gifts of knowledge and discernment, and so much more. This is exciting! Bible study is never boring when we ask God to use it to grow us and transform our lives. Pray daily for wisdom, study His Word, and memorize it. Experience how He speaks through Scripture and will grow You in ways only He can. <3
If you are not yet a part of my community, I would love to help equip you to study the Bible on your own and get excited about it. Sign up to join below to receive exclusive freebies and tips only available via email!
“This God – his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” -Psalm 18:30 ESV
God is perfect in all His ways and His Word proves true. Let’s pause and think about that for a moment. If God’s Word proves true, it means there is clear evidence of its trustworthiness. But where do we look?
We can look to the Bible (the written Word of God) and even look at our lives, the lives of others, and the world around us to find evidence that the God of the Bible is the one true God and His Word alone is true.
Let’s start with the Bible.
I’ve been studying Genesis this year and what has stood out to me is God’s repeated promises through the line of Abraham. In chapter 12 God promised Abraham that He would make Abraham’s descendants into a great nation and that He would bless those who bless Abraham and curse those who curse him. After several long years, still no children, and Sarah, Abraham’s wife, was well past child-bearing years, God repeated His promise, making a covenant with Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. (Genesis 15) More time passed, many sinful decisions and mistakes were made, but God’s promise prevailed. Sarah bore Abraham a son named Isaac and through his line would come the Messiah – Jesus Christ (Matthew 1). I find it amazing how God remains faithful to His promises through the generations even when people sin against Him.
God’s faithfulness to His promises throughout Scripture
God reminded Isaac of His covenant with Abraham, He reminded Isaac’s son Jacob… and God spoke through the prophets to remind the nation of Israel of who they were, who God was, and that a Messiah was to come. And when Jesus did come, He was the fulfillment of the many promises God made from the very beginning – to redeem a fallen world, promising eternal life to all who put their faith in Him.
But just as God remains faithful to His promises of blessing, God is also faithful to His promises of judgment and wrath. But, we see throughout Scripture God’s compassion through His repeated reminders and warnings to His people. When His people listened, they were blessed, when they ignored or disobeyed God’s warnings, they faced the consequences. Still today, God continues to warn us of the consequences of sin and the realities of hell through His written Word and that Christ alone is the way of salvation. And even this promise is good, because God is good and all His ways are perfect.
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” -2 Peter 3:9 ESV
Have you ever thought about how compassionate God is in making promises and repeating them to forgetful people like you and me?
Our lives and the world around us
God also uses circumstances in our lives, the lives of others, and creation itself to prove the trustworthiness of His Word. I can think of several times in my life I have experienced God’s promises of comfort, peace, strength, and blessing, but of course, I’m always reminded of how He saved me. I shared that story in this post if you’d like to read it. And of course, God uses the lives and stories of others to prove His faithfulness to His promises. I think of the many amazing stories of God’s goodness displayed through the lives of close friends and family members – even the stories of others through books I’ve read or videos I’ve watched. The stories of God’s people throughout every generation are powerful testimonies to His faithfulness.
God even uses His creation to prove He is God and His Word is true:
“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard.Their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.” -Psalm 19:1-4 ESV
God uses it all. None of it goes to waste. How have you seen proof of God’s trustworthiness in your own life, the lives of others, or simply in creation?
He is a shield and refuge
God’s Word proves true. That is a promise. But, let’s not forget to look at the second promise in today’s featured verse: “he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” Shields are used to protect and defend. They take the blow of a weapon or threat for the person covered by one. When I think of this picture, I can’t help but think of the Son of God, perfect in every way, nailed to a cross, suffering a horrendous death to save sinners. We deserved that death. He did not. And all who put their faith in His atoning sacrifice will be saved from hell and instead promised eternal life. He truly is our shield.
His Word is true and He protects all who put their faith in Him.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Philippians 4:8 ESV
This verse keeps coming to mind these days. God speaks through His Word and when a verse seems like it’s on repeat throughout the day, I know it’s from the Holy Spirit. I’m in a challenging season physically and mentally. Months now of aches, pains, trouble sleeping, sick to my stomach, anxiety, and the blues… I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, but I am guessing the primary cause is anxiety. I’m on a journey to find relief and healing physically, but as I’m learning and growing in that area, God is also teaching me that this is just as much—or more—a spiritual battle as it is a physical one and it’s the spiritual side I’ll be focusing on in this post.
A recent experience
On the early mornings I can’t sleep, I often get up to pray. One recent morning, I felt compelled to write down all the things I was worried about. The list was long and 99% of what I wrote was entirely out of my control. As I wrote, I prayed, “Jesus, I lay these worries at Your feet.I know these are burdens I’m not meant to carry.”
Later that morning while I was driving, this thought came to mind: How do I lay my worries at Jesus’ feet for good? I could still feel myself hanging onto what I prayed to let go of. That’s when the words, “whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable… think about these things,” came to mind. It was the Spirit responding directly to my thoughts, directly from His Word. Through that verse alone, He reminded me of an important step in letting go of anxious, worrisome, fearful, and even sinful thoughts: fill your mind with godly thoughts.
So often we see, hear, and read the “do not be anxious” part of Philippians 4:6 independently from the context of the passage. With just those words, it feels impossible. We wonder how do we just stop being anxious when it feels out of our control? But thankfully, God gives us clear direction in how to do this through the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:4-9.
Let’s start by reading the passage in full—slowly and thoughtfully:
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” -Philippians 4:4-9 ESV
How to overcome anxiety (According to Philippians 4:4-9):
Rejoice
Delight in the Lord and remain joyful in Him always. Again, rejoice!
Be reasonable and gentle
Let your gentle spirit and sound judgment be known to others. God is with you!
Pray about everything
Pray to God about everything—He wants you to do this!
Give thanks to God
Practice gratitude. Acknowledge every good thing is from Him.
Allow God’s peace to guard you
Allow the peace of God which surpasses all understanding to guard your heart and mind in Christ.
Think godly thoughts
Think about whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise.
Trust
God promises peace when we do these things and He is faithful to keep all His promises! Trust Him. Be expectant!
Repeat
Put these things into practice, learn, and grow continually.
Scripture Memory Cards for Overcoming Anxiety
Isaiah 26:3 Sticker
Living out this passage
Remember: We cannot follow these commands in our own strength. We must be empowered by the Holy Spirit in order to obediently follow what His Word says and experience the fruit of doing so.
The Gospel
In order to be empowered by the Spirit, we must first put our faith in Christ. Jesus said in Mark 1:15 that we must repent and believe in the Gospel in order to receive His gift of salvation. The Bible teaches that we are all born sinners, not one of us is righteous, and the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Hebrews 9:22 states that there is no forgiveness without the shedding of blood. So, Jesus Christ, both fully God and fully man, died on the cross and rose from the dead to save sinners—paying the debt we owed. By His grace, all who believe in Him and confess and turn from their sins are forgiven and receive eternal life! And when we are given God’s gift of salvation, the Holy Spirit indwells our hearts and He empowers us to live and grow in godliness.
Have you put your faith in Christ? Repent and believe. Confess and turn from your sins to follow Jesus. Trust that in Him alone there is forgiveness and freedom—and that you will be strengthened by the power of His Spirit!
Living out your faith
The next step is living out our faith in Him daily. To clarify, when we are born again, we cannot lose our salvation. We are secure in Christ’s righteousness, not our own. (Ephesians 2:8-9) But when we are truly saved, God does a transforming work in us—giving us a desire to know and understand His Word (the Bible) and growing us in obedience to His commands. Jesus says true faith is marked by fruit. (John 15:1-11) This doesn’t mean we’re perfect, but it simply means we are surrendered to Christ so that He can do the work of shaping and molding us into His image. This means we must choose to trust the truth found in His Word even when we don’t feel it in the moment. When we humbly trust and obey His Word, it may take time, but our feelings will eventually catch up.
Free resources and final words
If you are like me and are in need of a clear visual reminder to put this passage on overcoming anxiety into practice, I’ve created a free PDF for you to download and print at home.
And finally, if you are struggling with anxiety or fear of any kind, cling to Jesus. In Him alone there is lasting healing and peace. Belief in the Gospel and applying this passage in Philippians will bring peace that surpasses all understanding because God promises it and He is faithful to His promises. Always. I also know that God often uses friends, family, doctors, and licensed therapists to bring about healing as well—to help us apply these truths to our lives and bring about healing where anxiety is effecting our physical health too. There is no shame in reaching out for help if you need it. I’m learning there are so many people in this battle against anxiety right now. You are not alone and our God is a God who sees you, cares for you, and loves you. 🖤
Nine years ago this week, by the grace of God, I put my faith in Jesus Christ. So, I thought it would be appropriate to share my testimony of faith with you all today.
My life before Christ
When I share with others that I’ve only been a follower of Jesus for the time that I have, many are surprised to hear that I grew up going to church very regularly. Nearly every week growing up, our family would attend a small, traditional church. My sisters and I would go to Sunday school and every summer we would attend church camp. The Bible was read in church and Bible stories were taught in Sunday school. But, I never knew why all the ancient stories mattered. And, I never understood why Jesus dying and being raised from the dead had an impact on my life personally.
My old beliefs and questions
For most of my life, I believed in God, but I was not following Him. I had no idea there even was a difference. To me, God was mostly a holy judge. If I followed the Ten Commandments well enough, I would be accepted into heaven. I remember a specific moment from my childhood where I questioned: How do I know when I’ve done enough for God so I can go to heaven? Which I later learned is the opposite of the Gospel message.
I was a Christian by name, but not at heart, which isn’t a true Christian at all. Aside from having some strong morals based on God’s commands, I followed my own path and my own understanding. But, in my late teens, I started seriously questioning the existence of God. I had a powerful experience my last year at church camp and reflected on that camp high thinking: I feel like God wants us to feel close to Him all the time, not just one week out of the year.
Prayers and doubts
That thought impacted my prayers in a positive way, but not my lifestyle or even my beliefs about God. I prayed before bed many nights that God would show me what it looked like to be close to Him. I wanted that, but had no idea how to experience that. By the time I left for college, those prayers were prayed to a God I seriously doubted even existed.
Coming to faith in Christ
As I drifted from God, I became more self-focused. I was needy for attention and recognition for my accomplishments, the way I dressed, the guys I went out with, and the roles I got in school plays. I started playing ukulele and writing songs and became obsessed with music. A desire for fame grew in me, even though I denied it to myself and others for years. Music became my outlet for anger and I hurt several people because of the songs I wrote and publicly released. I destroyed relationships with the two people closest to me at the time. And, I started realizing I was on a self-destructive path I had no idea how to get off of.
An awkward moment
When I was home for spring break in 2012, I went to a party with a whole bunch of high school friends. A few of my friends told me they’d be leaving to get ice cream and French fries and that I should meet up with them at McDonalds. Being the introvert that I am, I left the big party shortly after my other friends did. I was expecting to show up and we’d talk about boys and gossip. When I arrived, I walked in on a conversation about Jesus and Bible studies that these two friends had joined. I was so confused and felt very awkward. A year ago, these friends were into the same kinds of things I was, not God.
I sat there for awhile, panicking a little because I had absolutely zero to contribute to the conversation. But as they turned to me to ask how I was doing, I told them about my fears. I shared how I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. My friends told me that Jesus could set things right and that I should start pursuing a relationship with Him. They encouraged me to start a prayer journal. They said I should start writing to Jesus about what I was going through. And, to tell Him my regrets and my desires to change.
It all clicked
In that moment, it clicked. Jesus is the answer. I didn’t know it at the time, but I later learned, it was the Holy Spirit who intervened, opened my eyes, made my heart His dwelling place, and made this realization possible. This was the moment God saved me from my sins. A few days later, I went out and bought myself a journal and began praying. Over the course of that week, I also wrote an extremely long letter to God about all my regrets and the idols in my life (the things that I valued more than Him). I expressed to Him how deeply sorry I was for the mistakes I had made. I shared how desperately I desired a relationship with Him and to experience His power in my life.
My new life in Christ
In the beginning
When I returned to campus after what was a completely life-changing spring break, I was a new person. I felt it, but I also didn’t understand what had happened to me. That “camp high” feeling was back again, which I later learned was the presence of the Holy Spirit. I was afraid that I would lose that feeling and I didn’t want to lose the new desires I had. I’d rush back to my dorm between classes to journal, to spend my evenings alone at a picnic table listening to sermons my friend sent me, and eventually reading the Bible myself for the first time.
By the grace of God, I began growing in my new faith fast. I learned that I had been saved by grace through faith as I read in Ephesians 2 and that it was never about my own works. When I put my faith in Christ, I received the Holy Spirit. He was the one who opened my eyes to the truth and gave me the ability to understand the Bible for the first time in my life. I learned that this was not just a phase of my life, but that this change was permanent.
As time went on
As I grew in Christ, I changed for the better. I became more focused on Christ and less focused on myself. I became obsessed with God. In other words, I was totally in love with Him and hungry to know Him. This was a major shift from my old obsessions and idols. Six months after that night at McDonald’s, I met my husband at a music school we both transferred to. He was such an inspiration, teacher, and encourager to me as a new believer. And he continues to be, though I will admit our path of growth has not always been a pretty or straight one.
As the years passed, by God’s grace, I found reconciliation in both the relationships I had destroyed, which had been a source of guilt for a long time. God has done countless other great works in my life since and I praise Him for it all. I truly wouldn’t be the person I am today without Christ and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I still love Him and I’m beyond grateful that as a doubting teen, He heard my prayers to be close to Him, whatever that meant.
What I know now
I now know that being close to God is not about the things I thought it meant: going to the right church, simply calling myself a Christian, living a moral life in my own eyes, and being good enough to earn God’s favor. I’ve since learned that God used my upbringing to prepare me for that moment at McDonald’s. I’ve learned that I can confidently call myself a Christian, not because of my own efforts, but because of the Gospel message.
Out of God’s goodness and great love for unworthy sinners, He sent His perfect Son to die and be raised from the dead to forgive sins and promise eternal life to all who put their faith in Him! My works are no longer rooted in an attempt to gain His favor. They are now simply an outpouring of my love for Him. I now have a desire to follow His commands, because I trust that following what He says in His Word is what’s best for us. I’ve since learned that though our God is a holy judge, He is also our Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. A healthy balance of understanding all His attributes leads to deeper trust in Him.
Put your faith in Christ
God declares in His Word that faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation (John 14:6). Maybe you can relate to my early story of growing up in the church or in some other religion, but you’re not close to God or you don’t feel like your faith has had a significant impact on your life. I encourage you to pray to Jesus. Ask Him to show you what true faith looks like in your life. Start seeking Him diligently, even if you don’t feel His presence. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” That is a promise to cling to.
Reflect on your mistakes, your flaws, what might be idols in your life (the things that you put before God), confess them to Him, and ask Him to redeem those areas of your life and help you change. Put your faith in the Gospel. Faith in Jesus Christ requires full surrender. I know this can be scary, but what He promises is far greater and far better than anything we are tempted to hold onto. He assures us of this over and over again in Scripture and I personally can attest to this as well.
You can trust Him.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” -1 Peter 1:3 ESV
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20 ESV
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” -James 1:2-3
Count it all joy: A biblical approach
God says through the Apostle James to count it all joy when we meet trials, because this tests our faith and that testing of our faith produces steadfastness. In a recent post, I talked about the word steadfast. It means to be unwavering – fixed or firm in a direction or purpose. In the context of this verse, it means the testing that happens through our trials produces unwavering faith within us.
As Christians, our ultimate desire should be to know and love God more deeply. We should long for growth – to be more grounded in Him and His Word, whatever the cost. So, from a purely logical standpoint, if trials produce a more grounded, fixed and firm faith, we absolutely can be joyful in trials. But of course, that’s easier said than done.
This kind of joy does not mean we ignore, deny, and avoid our circumstances. Nor does it mean we suppress emotions of grief and sadness. It means that in the midst of our pain and suffering, we are able to see God’s presence. We are able to trust that God will bring good from our suffering (as He promises in Romans 8:28), that He empathizes with us through His Son, and is actively engaged in the midst of our trials. This type of trust strengthens our foundation in Christ. And oftentimes, it’s in the most challenging circumstances that we are able to see God do His greatest works.
Count it all joy: Applying this truth
A woman in my small group shared an amazing story recently, which she gave me permission to share. Her mom was a strong believer and my friend was right there with her as she breathed her last breaths. In those moments, she experienced God’s grace in the most profound way. The reality of the Gospel hit her. Though we are completely unworthy sinners, out of His great love for us, God the Father sent His Son to die the death we deserved and rose from the dead so that we could be forgiven, declared blameless in the eyes of God, promising all who put their faith in Jesus will receive eternal life in His presence.
As my friend watched her mom pass away, she was overcome with the reality that we are all deserving of hell. But, by grace, through faith, her mom would get to leave her suffering and be with Jesus forever. This realization grounded my friend’s faith in such a significant way. There was and still is deep sadness over her loss. But, she said she has not experienced God’s peace and grace like that since. She wishes she could, but she also would never want to go through that suffering again.
This is such a beautiful example of this verse lived out. Of course, we do not rejoice in the loss of loved ones, a terminal diagnosis, an unfaithful spouse, a home foreclosure, a wayward child, crippling mental illness, or whatever your trials may be. But as we mourn, we can still have hope. By grace through faith, we are not only promised eternal life and forgiveness of sin (though that in itself would be enough). We can cling to God’s promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus empathizes with our pain. He will bring good from the darkest circumstances. And, He will use this testing of our faith to produce unwavering faith within us.
God is with you
So, dear sister in Christ, whatever you are going through right now, no matter how dark and numerous the trials in your life may be, God sees you. He is right here with you. Jesus is actively at work in your circumstances and the deepest places of your heart to produce steadfast faith within you. Cling to Him in prayer and His Word. Worship Him and trust He is good. His character unchanging and He is faithful to every one of His promises.
If you are still wrestling with a past trial or struggling to see where God was in the midst of it, tell Him. Ask Him to reveal where He was. Pray that He would reveal His goodness and faithfulness through it and to bring you peace that surpasses all understanding. It may take time, but keep seeking Him and worshipping Him as you wrestle. He hears you. 🖤
